Whew! Won the battle of the bad mood last night!
Mental Note: Do not go to a water park and run around the same evening unflattering photos revealing weight gain were posted to Facebook! I tried to be a bigger person and not let it bother me but I failed miserably. I did make it home without ruining my evening with my girlfriend, but it wasn't easy. And I did put myself to sleep pretty quickly, which is not always easy. Managed some good sleep.
I'm also holding it in that I feel like a fool being kind to someone who's been pretty rotten to me. I think I need to read my former posts about my traveler and remind myself why I turned nice again, because the longer he's gone the more I remember and it wasn't good. Why was I so intent on believing he really cares for me when clearly, he didn't? Why did I let my mind forgive so?
Leaving me so alone for almost two weeks before leaving town for two weeks, what was he really thinking? It was a game?
He'll be back soon and I'm thinking, now it's been almost a month since I've seen him. Maybe I should keep going with this and work on healing.
I'm going to get my complaints out real quick (should have written them last night). My psoriasis is driving me bananas. I need to lose weight. I was with a friend who has a wonderful life including a great husband and job and felt jealousy! My dogs need a bath. Riley is agitated and fussing at me like crazy because he's itchy, even though I applied flea and tick medication to his back last week. My finances are uncomfortable. Ugh. And I have a pimple of all things. Summer's ending and... ok enough.
To POSITIVE vibes for the day;
Doesn't matter if my mem exercise is ready yet. I'll check. Sleep went well. Second cup of coffee starting to work. Shower will feel great. Production with work is happening. I'm grateful for my kids and growing family. Kalob JR will be here in 4 months! I need to not care about my weight gain because my mental health is more important, but a little exercise can't hurt. Think on it.
Next week there will be some resolution with my JD issue. We either will or will not see each other and I'll be ok either way. Things will be different and I either will open myself up to dating other men again or I will not. Either way... I'm going to make sure happiness is around the corner. I need attention. Someone who WANTS to spend time with me and tend to my needs. Check on me, see how my days are going.
Ugh. I tried! Positive vibes find me!
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