-$116.34, down she goes! Oy. Todays the last day. $10 in my purse and maybe enough gas to get through. I can do it!
The scale said 174! And… I think I can feel my thigh gap coming back. I can’t believe how much weight I gained again this past year. I dreamt I put on a holiday sweatshirt given to me last year and it fit wonderfully. It was the best feeling! I know I shouldn’t worry so much about my weight but I’m feeling so much better. And I can’t afford a new wardrobe.
There was a whole lot more, and right, with my dreaming last night. I dreamt I was helping mom put up a Christmas tree, but it was in the house of poor people. There were little little kids running around and the place was really dirty. I was spending the entire night scrubbing everything in the area where the tree was being displayed, as I was getting the tree ready. I was organizing dirty clothes, polishing wood, collecting old, dirty, broken crayons from behind furniture… and improving everything. And it was feeling good to help. And I was realizing that other people go through hard times too. Maybe things aren’t so bad.
Maybe this is my mind telling me I will find satisfaction in service in my next employment opportunity. This is as good a time as any to consider it. Hmmm 🤔
There was tremendous satisfaction in the business I ran before, Recovery Resources & Support. The problem with running it again is, I rent. It needs a stable home. I’d need permission from the owner of this house to operate a business from here. I wonder if I can get it.
Meg always said I could use her home address but I worry, what if I ended up with tax debt and it fell to her? I couldn’t handle that.
Hmmm… my book is also supposed to be a service. I worked on it a little yesterday morning.
Yesterday was a day. I spent it on the road, with a quick swing by a job fair. Fingers are crossed! 🤞 Yesterday evening, I napped and watched A Discovery of Witches. Again, I was too down and tired to paint. Or read. It’s ok. I don’t like how my moods are going down in the evenings though. Watched some TikTok videos for awhile too.
I feel like my life is in such limbo now, after the issue at work. It’s a race to see if I can find another job before giving them enough ammo to fire me.
I’m grateful for my family, who I may spend Saturday with, and my friends, Amy and Meg. Meg has her last chemo treatment today! Riley, who’s still sleeping because I’m up early this morning. My health, because I’m up and at ‘em feeling ok. Maybe a little better than okay this morning. The paycheck I’ll be receiving in the morning. The home I wake up to and make coffee in each day. The vanilla coffee I’m about to try since I’m on my last cup of pumpkin.
To test my Jeep this weekend or not to test it. That, is the question!
Meds/vitamins. Water. Coffee. Riley. TikTok. News. Maybe I’ll shave my legs for the first time this week. That would be a sign I’m feeling ok!
Have an amazing day!
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