All in all, it was just a really weird week full of sober ups and downs. I really have a lot to process and I behaved!
I have no choice but to find another job, which is a real bummer. I have been treated so badly. So sadly. Shockingly.
Taking a job hunt seriously means really cleaning up my resume. Figuring out exactly what I contributed to my current position will take a little time. Articulating it on a resume, more time. I’m afraid I need to dedicate my weekend to this.
I’m proud of my son and my brother for wanting to support me in this mess. Old school style. I never dreamed I would be in my current position. I don’t know why. We are all human after all.
Sadly, or interestingly, I shared some of my recent trials with my mother. Negative negative negative. I don’t see how labeling me an alcoholic is productive and forward thinking. Maybe I am, maybe I’m not, what matters is living day by day and solving my problems. For now, I’ve stopped drinking, and I feel good.
I just went to add something to this blog post and see that a good chunk of what I wrote earlier is just… gone!! Like 5 paragraphs! Let me see if I can recall what was written.
I wrote about the ups and the downs that happened this week. The ups WAY outweighed the downs… though the downs were quite serious.
Ups: made considerable progress organizing my workload, since I need to keep working where I am until I find a new job, visited my kids and saw my grandson boogie across the floor, he’s got crawling (army?) down! Had a nice date with a white collar boy. Man. Found affordable mental health services and had a nice intro to a new therapist. Connected with my brother and son, and daughter-in-law in a beautiful way. Had a successful shopping trip to get some fitting clothes. Started, however small, saving for a downpayment on a house! Made a credit card payment. Read two books. Slept incredible well. Continued a wonderful connection with my sister. Had ideas for started Recovery Resources & Support again. Programs I could introduce to the community. Ideas for adding to the content of my book. Ideas for new books. Felt inspired to give back to the community for the affordable resources discovered. $5 therapy appts! Maybe by volunteering time on the Virginia Behavioral Health Advisory Council again.
Downs: Verbally abused and berated, then physically violated by a man with power. This will be addressed.
I also started the day with wonderful thoughts of gratitude. I’m incredibly grateful for my family and my friends. Riley. My home. My health. My freedom. The creative juices that I’ve been feeling flowing through me that will help me to solve my problems.
My plan is to do some work in prep for Monday, try on clothes in prep for a bday party this afternoon, go to the party, stay alcohol-free! Then maybe come home to work on resume.
Have an amazing day!!
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