Pulling through after a tough night of sleep. Second night didn't see him but... it's only been two freaking nights. I have issues. Truth is, I forgot to replenish my supply of benedryl and I need it to sleep. I kept thinking I would be ok but tossed and turned. Finally had some sleepy-time tea at 12:30 which worked.
Bad news from my colleague this morning, he started working one of my props. Dropped in thinking it wasn't one of mine I think, but all he needed to do was go into the system to see I'd been there just on the 5th.
Perhaps he looked in the system weeks ago and saw I hadn't been there yet? Either way... it feels off.
Now... he's started working the entire management company.
I don't work on commission. I don't work on commission... I don't work on commission. And I'm the new kid on the block. If I keep reminding myself of these things maybe I can keep it from irritating me.
Yesterday was a great day. I spent it with Gabbie talking about her baby shower. I think we've decided the venue and a couple other things and progress FEELS GREAT! But more importantly, I felt a level of comfort with her like never before. No anxiety whatsoever. Being together for me felt easy and natural. I'm so happy about it.
Last night was ok, not as great. I kept hoping I'd get a call that didn't come. A text that didn't come. But there was some communication throughout the day.
I really wish I had someone to help me analyze the situation, or that I could figure out how to stop!! I feel like I know what I need to do. I just am having trouble doing it. Chill out and let things be natural. Try to better identify between feelings of loneliness and feelings of boredom. Because I really don't think I'm as lonely as I think I am sometimes. Does that make any sense?
I'm really glad that I had years of knowing what a comfortable relationship can feel like, because it's worth work. I know what an end game can feel like. I don't have to have all of the answers right now. I do still feel like progress has been made. Lines of communication are open.
I started the jigsaw puzzle last night and am looking forward to some more work on it. Actually caught another Big Bang episode never seen. It's making watching some reruns worth it. I watched Jerry McGuire and that was nice. ❤️ Ordered pizza and didn't share it this time so that I can eat on it today too, save a little $$.
I really need to get a few groceries in the house. Dog food and bones.
Oh. Still need to make the decision about a parade and leaning towards it. I looked up the licensing application process last night and so far it looks free. Honestly, if my job is still insecure (like it now seems again after what I learned this morning) then it's kind of a no-brainer to do it! Could be looked at that way.
So... I took some time to myself this morning to communicate with him, wake up, drink coffee, blog. My work day's planned and ready. Just need to get out the door and I'll be on track. I can do my mem exercise on a break in a bit.
Have an awesome day!
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