July 6, 2023 ~ One Constant Thought, What IS and What IS NOT Healthy?

So I'm getting ready for the workday. Memory exercise app. Worked this morning so... check! Daily plan for work ready - and it makes sense... so check!

I slept with my phone last night hoping for my good morning, which came. Because last night I realized I had someone to apologize to. I was very upset and called him names... a spiteful dog to be exact. It hit me how wrong I was like a ton of bricks yesterday evening so I made a difficult phone call.

I'm trying to figure some things out. Specifically, why did I start this blog? It's not just help for me, it's help for me trying to figure out what to write a book about. It's helping me practice writing daily and hone in on what's most on my mind. I think what I need to write about is trying to date with mental health challenges, and dealing with the stigma of it.

The truth is, I can write about anything. What's most on my mind, ALL THE TIME, about EVERYTHING, is, IS IT HEALTHY? What on earth is and is not healthy for me at any given point and time changes, it seems, and everyone else's opinion about each does as well. Dating, for example. Is it even healthy? How can you tell what is and is not good behavior to give and to receive. I know that it is not healthy for me to feel like I need to be calling someone names. Or... perhaps just getting it out and doing it is the healthiest thing I can do. Don't hold back. You know?

I know that one of the rights I preached about while facilitating WRAP classes for how many years is that we all have the right to a healthy sex life. Another, we have the right to say no. Another, we have the right to our own reality. There were so many!

Who's to say that I don't have the right to call someone names, be forgiven, and move on, like everyone else? Do I need to beat myself up, punish myself for it? Make some dramatic gesture and end things? Or am I able to allow that person to make some decisions?

What IS and IS NOT healthy. It seems the very biggest subject on my mind all of the time, living a life in recovery. What will help me to stay positive. What will help me to keep going. What the hell can I do to ignite inspiration now? Because I need to get moving!

Have an amazing day!! I'm going to try!