Yesterday was a busy, rainy day on the road. I also made many calls before heading out while waiting out a thundering downpour. I didn't appreciate a text received about needing to be out in the weather unless there's a foot of snow. Micromanaged.
I went dancing with friends last night and met someone. We have plans for dinner. I've already done a little research and see that we're connected on social media with my son's step-mother. Looks like I won't be able to avoid a conversation for long. Awesome.
Dating is so challenging. Many people tell me that I'm too quick to share with others about my health challenges... but I feel like I need to be with someone who understands and is ok with them, supportive even. And I absolutely cannot stand the thought of dating someone and having him find out about my problems from someone else.
If I had a choice I'd prefer NOT to think about my problems every day, but they impact every aspect of my life right now. It's exhausting!
On the ride home last night I had an idea for a blog post I think I'll write soon, about the many places I've lived. I thought about a time I hadn't in a LONG while... I thought about when I was a young teenager and ran away from my father's home. I'd forgotten. I think the reason I ran away was because he slapped me.
Whatever the reason was, it wasn't the first time I ran away. I moved to my father's because I was unhappy at my mother's and kept running away from her.
Anyway, I started thinking about the time I ran away from him in West Virginia... I was 15. I was gone for almost 2 weeks, if I remember correctly. The first week I sofa-surfed, and slept with a boyfriend, and the 2nd week I resided at a half-way house before agreeing to be picked up by my grandmother. Of course then I was shipped back to live with my mom again.
The story goes... I was running away from my mom's, moved to my dad's... felt at the time like living there was worse - moved back and straightened up for a few years until graduating from high school and going to WVU. Anyway... I have a lot of things I can write about in the future.
Back to the present ~
I responded a simple "Yep" to my "good morning," this morning. A man I've seen on and off again over the past 6 months hasn't been able to commit to me because he knows I'm not the one for him. He says he doesn't know why, but I know that is the reason. So why keep texting me good morning? It's been almost a solid week of nothing but good mornings since we spent some time together. I really don't understand.
I want to say it wasn't a mistake contacting him last Sunday, after a couple of weeks of intentional self started no contact. I was trying to detach from him but having a really bad day and reached out. He met me at the park and then took me to a movie. I don't know if there was any harm in it or not, since I made it through the day, and managed to make it through the week without crying over him again. Sometimes my bad days I think are simply a result of not knowing what to do with boredom. I don't know what to do when I have time on my hands, how to manage and work on hobbies. ??
I have plans to dance again this evening with my friends again - after my dinner date - maybe. If I'm not too tired. And to go boating tomorrow, definitely!
I think I'm a little cranky so I'll wrap it up for now! :)
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