Still beside myself. Feel like life is a blur.
I had a few comforting conversations with friends yesterday, including a visit from one. It was another terrible day though. Get me through. I also heard from my brother.
Riley was sweet and walked with me in the evening, after some coaxing through the first block. My Riley. He seems to be okay right now. It was a beautiful evening. It was strange only having him.
Of all things, I read a little in my Bible, some passages recommended by Amy.
In my Bible was a Remembrance for one of my grandmothers. I’d been wondering lately how old she was the year I was born, when she painted a picture of a covered bridge. I was thinking about picking up painting if money ever permitted. 53! She was remarkable.
Went out for some wings for dinner.
I’m seriously considering a PTO day today, to avoid one meeting. It would be nice not to have to deal with my boss. I’m thinking about it anyway. I really shouldn’t risk my job so soon before a vacation though. Think I just talked myself out of it.
I spent the day yesterday flooded by memories of the selfish, arrogant man I married. His selfishness knew literally no limits. I’d be happy to hash some things out. THE TRUTH about why I had to leave. The husband who told me that my need for therapy was MY PROBLEM. Turned out, it was ours. That was when he lost me. I am so angry.
The girls are talking about going boating Sunday and I really could use it.
What I really SHOULD do, spend the day looking for another job. Working for this man who is constantly insulting everyone around him is starting to take a toll. That is what I should do. A fresh start.
I miss Diesel. I’m so glad he’s not laying here in pain though. It was too much. I can’t believe how quickly his illness came on and that he’s gone. I’m so grateful he had some good moments before the end. 🥹 My snuggle bug. The snuggliest dog ever owned. Couldn’t even go out into the backyard in the end. ❤️
The cover picture today was taken before he started showing signs of Horner’s Syndrome.
I’m also feeling very grateful that Riley seems to be the kind of dog that doesn’t mind being alone some. Choosing to stay home when Diesel and I would walk or ride over the years. He DID go nuts happy when I got home last night which I haven’t seen him do in awhile, getting one of his bones for me and everything. I’m going to take that as a good sign. And remember that he also may be feeling lonely when I’m not here.
Meds/vitamins. Water. Coffee. News. Skip Facebook. Or not. Blog
Have a day!
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