November 10, 2023 ~ Feeling Beautiful

Is it difficult to believe that a man or a woman who may be considered beautiful by society's standards may not feel so? I know that we think our way through life and energy levels go up and down and feeling beautiful (and I believe we all are) is something I wish I felt more often.

What does it mean to feel beautiful?

Perhaps, it's easier to look at it in terms of when it's difficult to feel so. Can one feel beautiful when bogged down with worry? Depression? Is it possible when fatigued?

This is coming from last night. I had a second date! And I think it went well. I know that I thanked him for making me feel beautiful and his response, though I'm interpreting through text, was "look in the mirror."

If only it were that easy.

Yes, I receive compliments. A lot. But you can only put so much stock in them. What do they mean, coming from a man in a bar, a clerk in a convenience store, a stranger on the street. Sometimes a lot, sometimes, not so much. Sometimes they make me feel sad. Like I wish ALL women were given compliments. Because we're ALL beautiful.

Once, I recall feeling really bad for a woman who complimented me because she OVERDID it. I just felt... why do you respond this way? Don't you feel you are too? I said something to the effect.

Yes I enjoy feeling attractive, often. I cannot deny that I like attention. But, feeling beautiful is different. It's something that is stirred up on the inside.

I feel a struggle coming on like feeling beautiful is less and less as I age and I need to address this! 50 is right around the corner. I need to figure out how to manage it best, and not be concerned about all of the changes in my body. There may be tough roads ahead.

Anyway, he made me feel beautiful with some very sweet words and it was nice. We had a spontaneous date and a great meal.

It was an ok workday.

Today, I've been up and working since 5am and I'm about ready to jump in the shower. Meds/vitamins. Dogs. Coffee. Ads. PepTalk podcasts. News. It's Friday!

Have an amazing one! It's supposed to get chilly here today.