Good morning! Good sleep, meds/vitamins check! And just because I slipped up a bit does not mean my world is over. It means I need to be more mindful of how I'm spending my time. And I need to remember to think about all of the things I have to be grateful for MORE OFTEN.
I'm grateful for my kids, my dogs, my life. My skills, my home, my belongings. My opportunities. My privacy. My choices. Wow. I slipped up with my mood for a bit and haven't had that problem in a while.
Today's going to be an amazing day and I can't say why. :) it's a secret! But I can post about it later.
Yesterday was kind of a bust. I had a Monday with a bad mood on top of it. Meaning... locked my stupid keys in my car at the car wash kind of Monday! I called a locksmith to help me get a new key altogether and hopefully that will work out this afternoon. Turns out, I called the same locksmith that cut me a new key last year. Forgot. Anyway, I'm not supposed to be able to lock my keys in my car with all of the safeguards in place in the first place!
I also spilled cold water on my lap while driving. Awesome!
Had a nice lunch with Kathy who is also giving me a lead for work. Sadly, didn't get her to the baby shower a couple of weeks ago. We just started connecting again a little too late. Love her so much. So nice to be back in touch.
Finished my stops best I could and came home around 4. I laid down for awhile and just continued processing everything that's been on my mind, while vegging to Big Bang. And, practiced my flute for a good hour. Finally, read some in a new book I picked up last week, Bram Stoker Horror Stories. I don't know why I chose it other than I like the story of Dracula. All of the scary books were set out for Halloween. I figured if I don't enjoy it I'll stuff it on my shelf but, maybe I could use something different to read to distract my mind.
I let myself sleep around 9pm again and did until about 6am this morning. I think my mind's been working on overtime and has been needing some rest because this is the second night in a row slept so much.
About the drinking... the question is how much does it impact my life? How much have I let it?
I know that I've overdone it a little lately and need to step back from it. I know that I've done a few really stupid, embarrassing and sad things. I know that I started again over a need to feel like I have a normal life? I know it is a risk.
I do not believe it causes mental health challenges, but it is a bear all by itself, and can help or harm individuals with them.
I believe it helps at times. A lot. And I believe it causes harm at times. A lot.
This time, it was probably the biggest contributing factor to not getting a second date with a pretty great guy. But on the flip side, I wouldn't have met that pretty great guy if I hadn't been out... (with or without the drinking). It probably contributed to my oversharing with him. It definitely inflated our tab. He was a practical man, with future plans requiring budgeting.
The fact that I was out with a man like him IS GOOD. Compare him to the man I went out with last year and it's undeniable.
Am I ready for a new relationship right now? Probably not anyway. I have plans which require focus!
I don't know. All I know is I feel like I lost myself for a little while and it wasn't good.
Time to get ready for the day! Have an amazing one!
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